Laugh Out Loud!!

The Fairy

laugh — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:54:02 +0000

A couple had been married for 25 years and also celebrated their 60th
birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because
they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them
one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and
boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband’s turn.Â He paused for a moment, then said shyly,
“Well, I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”
The fairy picked up her wand and boom! He turned 90.

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90 Years Old

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:24:05 +0000

A woman is having her 90th birthday with a huge celebration in the
village. Everybody is there - the mayor, the police and a reporter from
the local newspaper. He wants to know how she managed to have such a long
life.
She tells him about her fulfilled life - and about the 3 beers and 2
cigars she has each day. ‘Not to forget a healthy and active life keeps my
circulation going’ she adds.
The reporter curious now, asks deferentially,Â “So when was the last time
you made love, Mam ?”
“Well, let me think - made love - the last time I did that was around
1945.”
“Whoa,” the reporter says, “but that’s a helluva long time ago.”
“You think so?” The woman replied and checks her watch. She continued on
and said, “But it’s only 20:15 now!”

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JOB INTERVIEW

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:23:50 +0000

Sum Ting Wong went for a job interview to be a secretary.

When the manager saw Sum Ting Wong’s colourful attire and gold &
white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming “NOT THIS WOMAN”.

Nevertheless, he still had to entertain Sum Ting Wong. So he told
Sum Ting Wong,
“If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you,then
maybe I will give you a chance!
The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK”.

Sum Ting Wong thought for a while and said :

“I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the
phone, I say YELLOW….BLUE’s that ? WHITE did you say? Aiyah, wrong
number lah….Don’t disturb PURPLE and don’t call BLACK, ok!?!?Â Thank
You.”

The Manager fainted.

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Man vs Judge

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:23:34 +0000

There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a
fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk
guy to jail.
The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man,
‘Where do you work?’
The man said, ‘Here and there.’
The judge asked the man, ‘What do you do for a living?’
The man said, ‘This and that.’
The judge then said, ‘Take him away.’
The man said, ‘Wait, judge, when will I get out?’
The judge said to the man, ‘Sooner or later

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10 LBS

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:23:13 +0000

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to
go out to do some errands. The proud papa stayed home to watch his
wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry.
The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn’t
stop crying.
Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the
doctor. After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the
baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby’s ears, chest
and then down to the diaper area. When he opened the diaper, he found
was indeed full.
“Here’s the problem,” the Dr. said. “He just needs to be changed.”
The father is very perplexed, “But the diaper package specifically
stated it is good for up to 10 lbs!”

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The Hair Question

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:22:58 +0000

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to
thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy
got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.
“He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself
for coming up with a good answer to her husband’s baldness.
Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and asked,
“So why do you have so much hair?”

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Willis

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:22:31 +0000

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of wheat on the road.
The farmer that lived nearby came to investigate. “Hey, Willis,” he
called out, “forget your troubles for a while and come and have dinner
with us. Then I’ll help you overturn the wagon.”
“That’s very nice of you,” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Dad would
like me to.”
“Aw, come on, son!” the farmer insisted.
“Well, OK,” the boy finally agreed, “but Dad won’t like it.”
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked the host. “I feel a lot better
now, but I know Dad’s going to be real upset.”
“Don’t be silly!” said the neighbor.Â “By the way, where is he?”
“Under the wagon,” replied Willis.

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They Need the Fourth

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:22:17 +0000

The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar
voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.Â “We
need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.
“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it
serious?”
“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely.
“in fact, there are three doctors there already!”

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Oh George

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:21:57 +0000

70-year old George went for his annual physical. All of his
tests came back with normal results.
Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically.
How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace
with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with God?”
George replied, “God and me are tight. He knows I have poor
eyesight, so he’s fixed it so that when I get up in the
middle of the night to go to the bathroom *poof* the light
goes on, when I’m done *poof* the light goes off.”
Wow!” commented Dr. Smith, “That’s incredible!”
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George’s wife.
“Ethel,” he said, “George is doing fine. Physically he’s
great. But, I had to call because I’m in awe of his
relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the
night and *poof* the light goes on in the bathroom, and then
when he is through *poof* the light goes off?”
Ethel exclaimed, “Oh, my God! He’s peeing in the refrigerator
again!”

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Geography of a Woman

laugh — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:21:38 +0000

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.
“Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.”

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